So I've turned the page of the book of my life and surprise surprise its a new chapter....
Today was the 1st day of grad school post the Physician's Assistant disaster that happened two years ago. I started my Masters in Counseling today. I still at times wonder if thats the correct field I should be getting into. I have always been interested in psychology but funny part I'm kinda starting to like my job, sad part... theres no room for growth and I dont want to be left in a dead end job. I do think I will enjoy counseling and if it were up to me I'd've started with a bachelors in psychology... that way I could've not dealt with the disaster from PAS, but I wouldnt have met the people I have along the way and I cant wish them away. I think the stubborn side of me wants to prove to the PAS department that I can do that program and kick their ass. Irony in all of this is I still wanted to be a therapist as a PA. I'll be fine. It is something I've wanted to do all my life, being a therapist. I'm just scared the autobiography we need to write for a class will show my teachers that I've got major problems up there and they tell me to go to therapy. I've been in it.. didn't really help me much... maybe I need someone else.
I've got an old classmate who I've been talking to on fb. He gave me his cell phone number, without my asking mind you, on wednesday (todays Monday) and we've been texting everyday since. A friend of mine says he likes me but I feel like I'm always holding up the conversation.. I know I talk A LOT at times but come on dude! I feel like I'm having to think of what to say. I'd think that maybe its just me being weird and he doesn't like me but hes the one who starts the conversation on both fb and texts. What the hell is up with this guy?! He even goes and says "oh if I had known him in school I'd've liked him".... Whats with this guy?! If you don't like me then don't msg me a million times on fb and give me your phone number without my asking AND flirt/say things then make me hold up the conversation and make me feel like i'm being some desperate chick. Make up your mind please. I'd REALLY appreciate to know what page you're on.
On top of that an old best friend I've talked about, Bambi, mailed me a wk ago. He had mailed me a few months back which i replied to really late. I hadn't known what to write back. He finally replied back 2 months late saying "HOLY SHIT! I JUST SAW THIS!" that was a wk and a few change ago. Hes essentially asking to be friends again. I dont know what to say. I haven't replied back yet. I meant to tonight but I started writing this (oh avoidance you're amazing). A part of me wants to send him a link of Michael Buble's Cry me a River and nothing else in that reply. Another part of me wants to say "HELL YES LETS START OVER!" I have no idea what to say or do.....
My ex is being weird also. He msgs me about some nostalgic thing... i replied to that... and his dad had a huge MI which was extremely baddd (he survived thank god) my ex replied back and was acting extremely nice and being what he used to be which i was really taken aback by and even apologized about not replying asap... I mailed him back two wks ago and then mailed him eid mubarak a few days after that, figured that was appropriate... A few days ago he replied back with eid mubarak.. i was on so i replied back thanks.. he goes oh hey! i was just reading what you wrote again... i go alright well keep reading... he replies something about being at my aunts and i go... oh... awkward lol... and he doesnt reply back AND doesn't reply back about the damned email... wth! i know he read it...
idk what to do... i feel lost... I'd love for someone to tell me... Sana do this!.. and i say yes ma'am/sir.. and I'd love for guys to stop being so unreadable.
In any case, I'm excited about this new prospective of school and hopefully it'll allow me to start a new chapter of life and give me a fresh start. I def want to help people and my current job doesn't allow me to see the people I've helped. It is, hopefully, going to be something I enjoy. And hopefully my prince charming is around the bend.
Today was the 1st day of grad school post the Physician's Assistant disaster that happened two years ago. I started my Masters in Counseling today. I still at times wonder if thats the correct field I should be getting into. I have always been interested in psychology but funny part I'm kinda starting to like my job, sad part... theres no room for growth and I dont want to be left in a dead end job. I do think I will enjoy counseling and if it were up to me I'd've started with a bachelors in psychology... that way I could've not dealt with the disaster from PAS, but I wouldnt have met the people I have along the way and I cant wish them away. I think the stubborn side of me wants to prove to the PAS department that I can do that program and kick their ass. Irony in all of this is I still wanted to be a therapist as a PA. I'll be fine. It is something I've wanted to do all my life, being a therapist. I'm just scared the autobiography we need to write for a class will show my teachers that I've got major problems up there and they tell me to go to therapy. I've been in it.. didn't really help me much... maybe I need someone else.
I've got an old classmate who I've been talking to on fb. He gave me his cell phone number, without my asking mind you, on wednesday (todays Monday) and we've been texting everyday since. A friend of mine says he likes me but I feel like I'm always holding up the conversation.. I know I talk A LOT at times but come on dude! I feel like I'm having to think of what to say. I'd think that maybe its just me being weird and he doesn't like me but hes the one who starts the conversation on both fb and texts. What the hell is up with this guy?! He even goes and says "oh if I had known him in school I'd've liked him".... Whats with this guy?! If you don't like me then don't msg me a million times on fb and give me your phone number without my asking AND flirt/say things then make me hold up the conversation and make me feel like i'm being some desperate chick. Make up your mind please. I'd REALLY appreciate to know what page you're on.
On top of that an old best friend I've talked about, Bambi, mailed me a wk ago. He had mailed me a few months back which i replied to really late. I hadn't known what to write back. He finally replied back 2 months late saying "HOLY SHIT! I JUST SAW THIS!" that was a wk and a few change ago. Hes essentially asking to be friends again. I dont know what to say. I haven't replied back yet. I meant to tonight but I started writing this (oh avoidance you're amazing). A part of me wants to send him a link of Michael Buble's Cry me a River and nothing else in that reply. Another part of me wants to say "HELL YES LETS START OVER!" I have no idea what to say or do.....
My ex is being weird also. He msgs me about some nostalgic thing... i replied to that... and his dad had a huge MI which was extremely baddd (he survived thank god) my ex replied back and was acting extremely nice and being what he used to be which i was really taken aback by and even apologized about not replying asap... I mailed him back two wks ago and then mailed him eid mubarak a few days after that, figured that was appropriate... A few days ago he replied back with eid mubarak.. i was on so i replied back thanks.. he goes oh hey! i was just reading what you wrote again... i go alright well keep reading... he replies something about being at my aunts and i go... oh... awkward lol... and he doesnt reply back AND doesn't reply back about the damned email... wth! i know he read it...
idk what to do... i feel lost... I'd love for someone to tell me... Sana do this!.. and i say yes ma'am/sir.. and I'd love for guys to stop being so unreadable.
In any case, I'm excited about this new prospective of school and hopefully it'll allow me to start a new chapter of life and give me a fresh start. I def want to help people and my current job doesn't allow me to see the people I've helped. It is, hopefully, going to be something I enjoy. And hopefully my prince charming is around the bend.
